Should you correspond with your ex partner?

This research shows that keeping contact with exes is fairly prominent, however, if this suggests a problem with your existing relationship extremely more than likely utilizes why you stay in touch

The brand new experts including questioned users so you’re able to price how good all of five other intentions explained the reasons for having emailing the ex boyfriend:


  • Your own friendship along with your old boyfriend try strong and you will fulfilling.
  • Your partner is seen as a potential “backup” in case your newest matchmaking fails.
  • Your ex lover continues to be part of their large selection of relatives.
  • You feel as you spent a lot of time and have been through a lot together with your ex.

Just how performed these types of intentions connect with the standard of participants’ newest matchmaking? People that managed get in touch with as they was staying the brand new old boyfriend inside the head as a back up tended to feel quicker pleased with and dedicated to its newest mate. On the other hand, whenever they was in fact chatting with an old boyfriend for the reason that it individual is nevertheless section of their social media, these were expected to be satisfied with its latest matchmaking (possibly having including get in touch with means an effective public modifications, otherwise it’s more confident because it occurs without being on purpose searched for). Typically, emailing an ex boyfriend while they remained a buddy or because they got spent a lot in the matchmaking wasn’t related so you’re able to the participants believed about their current mate.

The clear answer isn’t really an easy sure or no. You should think of the motives getting attempting to take care of get in touch with. If you are playing with an ex because the a back up, connection with the new ex boyfriend is likely to weaken your existing dating. Almost every other studies show that reminders of one’s old boyfriend could well keep you linked to that individual while making it more complicated in order to mastered them. cuatro

But does dangling onto your ex since the a backup damage their newest dating, or does a bad dating leave you more likely to hang onto your ex boyfriend as a back up? Longitudinal lookup ways it’s a bit of one another: Greater dreaming about an ex boyfriend is actually associated with reduces during the satisfaction together with your most recent spouse over the years, and you can minimizes from inside the pleasure through the years is on the grows inside hoping for an old boyfriend. 5 New authors associated with newest lookup together with declare that if you already called an old boyfriend which have duplicate purposes ahead of meeting your current lover, you can get into one the dating less the amount of time throughout the beginning.

Is there a description as envious in case your partner is amicable that have an ex?

Realizing that your existing partner has been in touch with a keen ex boyfriend certainly can create jealousy. On the age Facebook, we frequently know if someone continues to be in contact with exes. six Whether your mate is communicating with an old boyfriend, it doesn’t always reflect poorly on your relationship. If that old boyfriend is part of their huge social media, it’s apt to be they are in fact met inside their relationships to you. Whenever these are typically however family unit members with an ex or enjoys spent enough time because matchmaking in past times, it will not always connect with how they experience your. The actual only real purpose to have getting together with an ex boyfriend that has been relevant having difficulties in today’s matchmaking try considering the ex once the a back up mate.

step one Kellas, J., Bean, D., Cunningham, C., & Cheng, K. Y. (2008). This new ex boyfriend-files: Trajectories, flipping situations and you will adjustment on the development of post-dissolutional relationship. Record regarding Personal and private Relationship, 25, 23–fifty.

dos Schneider, C. S., & Kenny, D. An effective. (2000). Cross-sex family members who have been immediately following romantic lovers: Are they platonic family relations today? Record regarding Public and private Relationship, 17, 451–466.